Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
