That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
