Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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