Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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