It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
