why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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