Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
