just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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