I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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