Pass out mid-funnel last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
