i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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