Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
