Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
