I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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