Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
