Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am naked and annoyed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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