It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize