she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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