you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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