Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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