some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
