Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
