She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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