I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm both gender and math confused
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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