hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
