U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
