So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
