I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
