I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
