I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
