I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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