Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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