Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
