you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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