I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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