idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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