Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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