Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
