i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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