Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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