he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
