She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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