I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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