Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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