His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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