No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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