well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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