I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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