i just had sex bonerless
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
