everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
