I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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