so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
