Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Mom said you looked used
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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