He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want nice things and good sex
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize