It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
