somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
