I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
