you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
