we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Your cock deserves a montage
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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