you guys were way drunker than both of me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
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