I hate your face
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
