I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
wow bdsm is so cute
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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