cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize