why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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