Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
