I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
