After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
