I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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