my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize