How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
